Author Archives

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Who I Am

Sharing my joy with my family means the world to me!

Sharing my joy with my family means the world to me!

It takes a long time to figure out who you are supposed to be and where you are supposed to go.  Some people say you make your own destiny, some believe in fate.  Others believe that a higher being determines our path in life.  I suppose that I kind of believe in all of those ideas.  Sometimes I think that things happen just because they were supposed to happen.  For example, what would my life be like if I hadn’t joined the Coast Guard to meet my wonderful husband and create three of the most precious human beings?  I was not one of those people who thought about joining the military during my childhood.  In fact, it was a very spur of the moment decision.

Yet, in a way, I did make my own destiny.  I chose not to fall victim to the harsh realities that were presented to me during my childhood.  I made my own choices about who I didn’t want to be and where I didn’t want to go.  I didn’t know quite where I was going, but I definitely knew where I didn’t want to end up.  Of course it wasn’t always easy to be “me” because I struggled with my identity, especially during my early twenties when I was still figuring out what life was all about.

I thought that if I believed in a higher power then maybe I would be pointed in the right direction.  Well, it didn’t quite work out that way or maybe it did and I just didn’t realize it.  I tried going to church and I wasn’t always sure if I belonged there.  Yet, I can’t help wonder about the beauty that surrounds us in the natural world and the amazing beings that we create.  Then I think about the sadness, loss, hate and grief and I wonder why that is necessary.

I would like to say that it all came to me when I got married.  But that wouldn’t be a true statement.  I would like to say that it came to me when I had my first child.  But I still didn’t have it figured out.  It took me many years to get it together and I still don’t have all of the answers.  I suspect that I never will.

Running has opened up a whole new world and I now see things in a different light.  I am more appreciative of what I have and I work hard to do what’s right.  Actually, I work harder than I ever thought possible.  Something inside of me turned on and I am more of a fighter than I ever was, mentally and physically.   I have made a connection to my inner self and the world makes more sense to me.  I am still not sure if I have the power to make the changes or if my fate is already sealed, but it doesn’t really matter.  I have to live each moment with the realization that I will never know what is going to happen next.  I can only hope that my life experiences have made me strong enough to accept what may come.

It is still a challenge to figure out what I am supposed to be doing.  All I know is that I want to make a positive impression.  I want people to have something meaningful to say when they attend my funeral.  I want my family to know that I made my mark on the world and that they can be proud of who I was.  I want them to move on knowing that I was happy with who I was.  I can’t be perfect.  Nobody can.  But I can work with what I have and make the best of it.  Some will agree.  Yet, others won’t.  I can’t be concerned with that.

Some people say that putting 26.2 stickers on your car and posting your running achievements on facebook is a bit obnoxious.  But this is who I am.  I am a wife, a daughter, a mother AND a runner.  I can’t help but feel the need to reach out to others and share my passion of running.  That is the reason why I decided to be a coach.  If I can make a difference in someone else’s life, then that will be the answer to my question.

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The Enlightening Marathon

Photos never do it justice... that was freakin' steep!

Photos never do it justice… that was freakin’ steep!

Most runners have a mantra (or two) that help them overcome a tough situation.  It might be a simple as “you can do it” or as deep as “keep running for those who can’t.”  I am typically deep and sentimental when it comes to my mantras.  I always think about how my mother would be proud, how I can be a positive role model to my daughters or about friends and family who have fought (or are fighting) cancer.   Those thoughts motivate me to push through the mental and physical barriers that try to keep me from moving forward.

Yesterday’s mantra couldn’t be further away on the mantra spectrum.  You see, I was smart (or stupid… still not sure yet) and decided to run a marathon 3 weeks after achieving a personal record in a marathon.  And not just any marathon…. a marathon that included a 2,200 foot climb up steep and winding roads through a national park.  A marathon that was going to be the most scenic racing adventure of my running career thus far, but a marathon that would also be the toughest one for me to complete.  I knew I could do it, but I wasn’t sure at what cost.  Would my knees buckle and leave me crying on the side of the road?  Would I hurt my ego as I crossed the finish line in last place?

We drove the route the night before the marathon.  It wasn’t like I hadn’t seen it before.  Last spring we came out and did the tourist thing.  At that time I never imagined running the road we were driving on.  As we drove it again the night before, I had a whole new perspective.  Wow, that was quite a climb!  I will be running up that?  This part of the road looks relatively flat, but there really is no true flat section.  I have to run down that?  How will my knee react?  There were some positive thoughts as well.  Holy cow, would you look at that view??  I get to stare at that for 5 or more hours?  I should just look at this marathon as a run to tour the Colorado National Monument.

I went to sleep thinking that everything would be alright.  And then I was wide awake at 4:30 am even though I didn’t need to wake up until 6.  My mind was racing.  Should I wear that shirt or the other one?  How many bottles of water should I carry?  What should I eat for breakfast?  What if it is colder at the top?  How the heck am I going to get up those hills??

Eventually it was time.  I was there at the starting line.  The road started off as a slight incline for the first half of a mile and then it went up.  Up, up and up.  I kept thinking about getting to the halfway point.  Once I was there it would all be downhill.  Then a negative thought popped into my mind.  Yeah, downhill looks good on paper, but the reality is that you could be hurting so bad by the time you get there that it really sucks to go down.  It is not fun to run downhill when your quads are on fire.

But wait, here comes the mantra.  I was recently reading a book about running (okay,  I tend to read these books a lot) and I came across an excerpt on hill training.  It emphasized the need to activate your glutes (yes, your butt) in order to alleviate some of the work that is ultimately placed on your quads when running up a hill.  It happened to mention the fact that you are definitely using your quads if you run up a steep incline and feel the need to put your hands on your knees.  Yes, I was just doing that the other day when I was running up a steep trail.

So, I decided on a new mantra: “Activate your glutes!”  Yep, that was it.  I kept repeating that over and over in my head (maybe out loud a couple of times too… not sure since I was in a daze).  I wasn’t really sure how to activate my glutes, but I just kept my focus on them and hoped that it was working.  Any time I felt like I wasn’t going to make it up the hill I just repeated the mantra.  Somehow I made it up the worst part… the first 4.5 miles of straight climbing.  That was when I reached the first aid station and was greeted with volunteers cheering me on.  I felt like I had just won a major victory!  I was pumping my arms up in the air!  And then I remembered that I still had 21.7 miles to go.  Um, I think I just used all of my energy on that climb and I am not sure how I am going to keep climbing.  “Activate your glutes!”  Then I was off again!

Any slight flatness or decline and I felt like I could fly.  Running on level road or running down a slight incline just seemed so much easier than before!  Of course I didn’t know how fast I was going.  I had decided to leave my Garmin behind and just run based on how I felt.  Afterall, my only goal was to finish.

It seemed like forever, but I finally made it to the final incline (well, I was smart enough to tell myself that there could be a few surprises down the road… which there were).  I was feeling okay.  My legs were still with me and I didn’t feel any unusual pains (not even in my knee).  I tried to tell myself to take it easy going down.  From mile 14 to mile 20 it wasn’t so bad.  A bit rolling, some flattish, slight declines with a few of those “surprise” inclines.

Then I looked over the cliff and saw the road.  Steep switchbacks heading down.  I looked out and could see the park where I would finish.  Just a down and out.  That was it.  I tried to tell myself to take it nice and easy going down, but I don’t usually listen when I spout good advice.  I didn’t focus on my glutes as much because I turned my attention to my form.  I tried to get into a downhill rhythm.  Then I saw them.  The runners who were walking down the hill.  One even stopped to stretch his… yep, he was stretching his quads.  I wanted to yell “you should have activated your glutes on the uphills!” but I figured that it was better left unsaid and I just said “Hi!” instead.  I was so sure that I was going to get passed going downhill.  Yet, somehow I managed to be the one doing all of the passing.  That made me wonder if I was running too fast.

When I passed mile 22 I knew I was as good as gold.  Miles 20-22 are usually my toughest both mentally and physically.  Not this time.  I was even speeding up.  And then there it was right before mile 25.  One more freakin’ hill.  Nothing major, but not something you were hoping to see again.  I just kept going because I didn’t want to be passed.  As I came down I saw a friend of mine.  I ran right up to him and we crossed the finish line together.  I was so relieved to be done that it didn’t dawn on me for a minute or two to find out what my time was.  I couldn’t believe it when I found out I had done that crazy course in 4:03:34!  I was expecting to take at least 5 hours.

Then I realized something.  Nothing is out of reach.  You just have to work hard to grab it.  I never believed I could be so strong and endure so much.  Running that marathon was an enlightening experience that I will never forget.  What’s next?  I’m not sure yet, but I will let you know.

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November Challenge!

I didn't realize how much I loved donuts until now. I see them everywhere.

I didn’t realize how much I loved donuts until now. I see them everywhere.

I love challenges!  They are definitely a nice change of pace.  This month is more like a challenging competition between three members of our household: me, my husband and my oldest daughter.  We decided that the other two little ladies were still a bit young for this type of challenge.  They just watch us and make attempts at doing the exercises.

Well, what is the challenge?  We earn points each day.  The maximum number of points we can earn per day is 5.  Whoever has the most points at the end of November is the WINNER!  Depending on who wins, the WINNER may be taken out to lunch or this individual may decide to delegate a handful of not-so-fun chores to the LOSERS.   Cleaning toilets comes to my mind.

How do you earn points?  Well, there is a list of exercises posted on our frig.  Each set is worth 1 point.  For example, 20 squats is worth 1 point.  20 push-ups is worth 1 point.  20 mountain climbers is worth a point.  Easy enough right?  Well, those points can be lost.

How do you lose points?  Eat something that is on the “do not eat” list.  What is on that list?  Um, stuff like cookies, cake, candy, soda, chips, cupcakes, scones, muffins and white bread.  Yes, my husband was not happy when I added “white bread” to the list.  I don’t know how many times I have to tell him that white bread isn’t healthy and has absolutely no nutritional value.  He whined and complained for a bit before sucking it up and saying that he was going to get 5 points every day.  Of course with the exception of our celebratory dinner date that just happened to fall on November 1st.  We were screwed with the bread and dessert, but at least we were screwed together.  Somehow our daughter managed to take the lead right away.

Once you eat an item on the “do not eat” list you can’t earn back your lost point by doing an additional set of exercises.  It is literally down the toilet.  So, who is the loser so far?  Yep, that loser is me.  I ate a scone that put me over.  Dang it!  This is much harder than I thought.  For some reason I feel more hungry than usual because I can’t find anything to eat!  What I mean by that is I can’t consume a bagel, or a piece of chocolate, or a muffin or a scone!  It is making me think that I don’t normally eat anything but what is on that freakin’ list!

I can do this.  I don’t need to eat pie on Thanksgiving.  I was loathing when my husband happily ate his loaf of whole wheat bread.  What is up with that?  The man who tears apart a loaf of white bread on a daily basis?  How can he just sit there and take it?  Why do guys just roll with the punches and not put up a fight?  How irritating!  I am so irritated because I am so hungry!

Baking.  Baking is my thing.  I love to bake.  But now I can’t calm myself by baking.  Because why would anyone bake something that they can’t eat? Oh, to tease the competition.  Right.  That wouldn’t work.  I would only be teasing myself.  They are too good.  My daughter says no when my husband offers her candy.  My husband refuses to eat white bread.  I am done.  DONE.  And the more exercising I do, the hungrier I get!

This is going to be the longest month of my life.  But maybe I will be able to lose a pound.  No, probably not.  My body doesn’t like to give up weight.  I’m just suffering now.

Hey, does anyone else want to do the challenge??  It is going to be so much fun!

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The Fast Marathon

Feeling great at mile 9!

Feeling great at mile 9!

After completing my half ironman, I decided it was time to return to the marathon.  My last attempt at finishing a marathon was derailed by a lower back injury.  I started participating in triathlons because it gave my body a chance to heal.  Well, it worked for a while… until I returned back to running full-time.  It was right after my first 20-mile training run when the pain decided to rear its ugly head.  The pain wasn’t in my back this time.  It was in my knee.  The first knee pain I have ever experienced during my duration as an athlete.

Crap.  The pain postponed training for a while, but I was determined to get to that marathon finish line.  I rested, iced, elevated and compressed like nobody’s business.  I cut back my mileage significantly for a full week and skipped one of my scheduled long runs.  I made a visit to my doctor who told me that it was probably bursitis.  I wasn’t so sure, but she was the doctor (I later found out that she was incorrect).  She told me that the pain would subside if I rested.  When I informed her I wasn’t planning on resting, she told me that she would refer me to an orthopaedic doctor if the pain didn’t go away in a few weeks.

I returned to running full-time with a few setbacks here and there.  Sometimes my knee would stiffen.  Other times it would throb for the first few miles, but then just go numb for the remainder of the run.  My knee would pop as I attempted squats or weaken as I went up and down the stairs in our multi-level home.  Then there were times when I would feel nothing at all.  I wondered if my knee had magically healed itself.  Then the achiness or stiffness would return.  It was kind of ironic that I suffered most after sitting for long periods of time and felt better after finishing a run.

As the day of my last long training run approached I began to worry that I wouldn’t make it through.  Yet, it ended up being the best 20-mile run I have ever had.  My knee was achy for the first 5 miles, but then the pain lessened with each mile.  Then, the following week I had to cut a run short because my knee felt weak while my other leg became afflicted with soreness due to the burden being placed on it.  It was like a never-ending roller coaster ride.  I never knew what each day would bring.  I only hoped that I would be feeling 100% on the day of the marathon.

I thought about my goal the night before the marathon.  I really wanted to achieve that sub-4.  However, I knew I had to be realistic about my knee.  The next morning I felt okay.  I couldn’t be sure of what my knee was going to do until I started the marathon.  Then I began to worry about the other things that normal marathoners worry about.  Would I be able to stay hydrated?  Would I take in enough nutrition to avoid hitting “the wall”?  Would I have the mental capacity to complete 26.2 miles?  I forgot about my knee until I started running and realized that it wasn’t hurting.  I wondered if it was going to be kind to me that day.

Indeed, my knee was kind to me that day.  My lower back was a bit achy and my quads felt  like they were going to explode at one point, but I could handle all of that.  I could take in the normal aches and pains associated with running a marathon.  In fact, I felt so good physically that my mind followed.  Initially, I feared that I had started off too fast.  I was chugging along at a decent pace.  After reaching the half marathon point, I was able to see that the 4 hour pacing group was nearly 2 miles behind me.  It made me believe that my goal was possible.

I felt so confident at mile 14 that I decided to change my goal.  At mile 14 I heard a large group of runners coming up behind me.  Then I saw it.  The sign said 3:45.  It was the 3:45 pace group.  They came up behind me and I latched on with a relentless grip.  At mile 15 I was still holding on.  At mile 16 I couldn’t believe I was still running so fast.  At mile 17 I believed that I could do it.  At mile 18 I was awesome.  At mile 19 I continued to hold on.  Then something happened at mile 20.  I lost the group after we passed through the water station.  They slowed down, but then quickly picked up a pace I couldn’t maintain.  I wasn’t about to give up, but I sure did struggle.  I watched them slowly fade away.

Then, a lifeline came at mile 22.  My friend joined me on the course and encouraged me to keep moving.  I ran as fast as my legs could carry me.  I kept my mind in a tranquil place.  The miles went by and then I could see it:  the finish line.  The relief swept over me and I knew that I had achieved more than the goal I was hoping for when I started the marathon.  I finished in 3:46:54.  It was a time that well surpassed my last marathon time by 45 minutes.  I was only 6 min 54 sec from qualifying for Boston.  Now I know that goal is within reach (unless they change it again of course).  I never imagined it would be.

I postponed my visit to the orthopaedic doctor because I didn’t want to hear any news that would cause me to avoid the marathon.  I decided that the perfect time to visit would be 2 days after my marathon because I assumed that I would definitely have symptoms.  Well, my knee didn’t quite cooperate.  Not only did feel just fine during the marathon, but it felt normal the day after.   I thought for sure that today would be the day.  I started my morning by running 8 miles.  Then I went to the doctor.  Nope.  Nothing.  He poked and prodded and did find one sensitive area.  We explored x-rays and talked at length about my symptoms.  The doctor eventually came to the conclusion that I have Chondromalacia Patella.  He did a good job explaining it to me.  In simple terms, the cartilage in my knee is getting soft.  That isn’t the best scenario, but it isn’t the worst.  There are ways to fix it.  I told him I wasn’t planning to stop running anytime soon.  Actually, I have another marathon in 3 weeks.  I won’t expect my knee to cooperate, but I suppose I never know what is going to happen until it happens.  For now, I will just enjoy my moment of glory.

People say that they can’t do certain things because of genetics.  Well, as you can see, genetics hasn’t been working in my favor but that doesn’t mean I am going to stop trying.

 

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Mother/Daughter September Challenge

We even inspired the youngest child to do the workouts with us!

We even inspired the youngest child to do the workouts with us!

Well, it appears that my oldest daughter, Kailey, might actually be more disciplined than I thought.   At the beginning of the summer, my daughter expressed an interest in archery.  My husband took her to the store to check out bows.  It didn’t take long for my daughter to realize that archery wasn’t going to be an option if she couldn’t even pull the string back.  Yep, it seems that a bit of upper body strength is necessary for archery.

The summer quickly came and went.  We continued to remind Kailey that she should do some push-ups every day in order to build that upper body strength.  Yet, we were not insistent and she was not motivated.  I finally decided that it was time for a bit of structure (since all kids seem to thrive on structure… duh!).  I know that I can’t run marathons without a training plan.  Kailey just needed some guidance to get moving in the right direction.

After I finally got my act together, I decided to create a calendar of exercises for the entire month of September.  Every day I listed 3-4 exercises of 10-20 reps each.  The entire month was filled with workouts.   Each time we completed the daily workout we marked the day with a star.  Each day needed 2 stars (one for her and one for me) in order to be a success.

The month started off with me reminding her to get the workouts done.  Eventually life got in the way (as it always does).  I would have to go to work in the evening and my daughter would be left with the responsibility of completing the workouts on her own.  When I came home I was surprised to see a star marked for that day on the calendar.  Sometimes we would complete the workouts together and other times we would have to do it on our own.

My real hiccup came when I injured my knee.  I wish I knew exactly what I did to my knee, but I still don’t have that figured out.  I couldn’t bend it without pain so squats, burpees and mountain climbers became difficult.  I was pretty much useless.  However, my daughter kept on going.  She told me that I could make up the days when I felt better.  In the end, I tried to make up those days, but she had me beat.  She completed all 30 days of the challenge!

As a reward for her efforts I took her out to breakfast.  Just her and I… a mother/daughter morning out on the town.  She seemed especially pleased with herself and I must admit that I was pretty proud.  The next day she suggested that we continue the challenge into October.  However, I have been the motivation buster since I have not written up the new workout plan yet.  Maybe I should let her give that a try since she seems to be more disciplined than I am at the moment….