Running for my Paps

I knew that when my dad called me and sounded the way he did that something bad had happened.  I already knew what he was going to tell me before the words came out.  My Grandpa, Paps, has been ready to cross over for some time now.  He has been struggling ever since my Grandma passed away 14 years ago.

I was surprised to find out that he is still holding on even though medication is the only thing pumping his heart and a machine is forcing him to breathe.  I can only hope that he is not in pain and that he will find peace soon.  I am sure that my Grandma is waiting for him.

The first thing I wanted to do when I found out the news was to go for a run.  That is the only activity I know that allows me to think, while keeping me busy at the same time.  I do the dishes to get my mind off things, but that just isn’t very productive.  If I can think while engaging in activity, then I feel I can handle a situation better.

As I ran, I thought about my last phone conversation with Paps.  I am not sure why it always comes back to that last conversation, but it does for me.  I talked to him about 2 weeks ago which was only a few days shy of his 90th birthday.  He often talks about the past and every time I talk to him (which was never often enough) he always brought up the day we went for a walk on the beach.  It was an unusual day for him (and for me too I suppose) because I suddenly turned towards him and told him I wanted to join the Coast Guard.  He was utterly baffled because I had never, ever mentioned anything about the Coast Guard before (nor any service for that matter).  That thought had never crossed my mind until that day when we walked down the beach and I glanced over at a Coast Guard boat in the water.  Well, I did follow through with what I said, but that is another story for another time in a different blog.

I do relive that moment every time I talk to Paps.  He also enjoys reminiscing about all of the experiences we shared together when I was a child.  Back then, I was a very lucky only granddaughter so my grandparents spoiled me.  They would take me on many travels, including Pennsylvania and Florida (who would have thought I would end up back in Florida?).  My Paps was wild back then.  I vividly remember when he took me to Disney World and convinced me to ride on a fast train.  He said it wouldn’t be scary at all.  Let me just say that I was not happy with the outcome.  I had just eaten before the ride and ended up losing my stomach contents in a trash can at the end of the ride.  He just stood there and laughed at me.  Thanks Paps…

My Paps was also big on “going out for a bite” (that is always how he worded it).  He loved going out to eat and that is probably why I eat out way too much.  Almost every morning he would go out for a donut and coffee.  I loved it when he would take me.  I am surprised I didn’t become an obese child.  I am not sure how he just celebrated his 90th birthday because he seems to get by without drinking water.  Yes, my Paps does not drink water.  He even tells those WWII stories about when he would offer his canteen of water to the other soldiers because he wouldn’t drink it.  I guess he just drinks enough coffee to fulfill his water intake for the day??

Lucky for me, I have many more memories that I will reflect on during my runs.  Thanks Grandma and Paps for all your love and everything you taught me about the world.  I hope you are together again soon.

And I used to call him “Pap-Pap.”  At some point I figured I  was too old to call him that so I started to call him “Paps.”  🙂

Pushing Yourself Towards Greatness

First of all, this is my 50th post since I started writing this blog.  I write mostly for myself, but I do enjoy knowing that there are a few people who may find my stories slightly interesting.  I hope that I can be a positive influence on others and maybe even entice a few folks to take a crack at this running thing.

Last night I also realized that I enjoy encouraging others to be successful runners.  I couldn’t have been happier when I was asked to be a running coach for Team in Training.  I am not an elite runner so it may seem as though I don’t have a lot to offer the novice runner.  Quite the contrary, in fact, because I have a lot of passion.  I am also human and just plain average when it comes to running.  I do make mistakes and I expect my trainees to learn from my mistakes so that is why I share my embarrassing stories.  You just have to be willing to remain humble.

With that said, I love encouraging others to work harder and strive for greatness.  I suppose that is why I became a teacher.  Since I am not currently teaching, I guess that this is my new outlet for helping others. However, when it comes to this team, I find that I don’t have to try very hard.  They seem to find the motivation within themselves to push through the tough terrain.  I must say that I am proud to run next to someone who has made a choice to work towards running further from one training run to the next.  I know it isn’t easy to do something that pushes your body to the limit.  It is amazing what we can do when we put our minds to it.

Some do need more encouragement than others.  When an activity becomes too tough it is human nature to back off and take the path of least resistance.  That was how I used to approach running.  If it became too hard, then I would slow down.  Yet, running is very much a mental game.  I have learned that if I push back when it gets difficult, then I can achieve more than I ever have before.  It does take a lot of willpower to do this, but it can be done.  One step at a time is the best approach.  You can’t expect to run a half-marathon in under 2 hours overnight.

Not only does it take willpower, but it takes passion.  You can only achieve greatness if you want to.  Someone recently told me that they didn’t want to run fast.  Well, they won’t run fast.  If you don’t want to run far, then you won’t run far.  That makes perfect sense.  What doesn’t make sense is when you say that you can’t.  If you want to, then you can.  It does take work though.  Sometimes people can’t do something because they don’t want to work at it.

I tell my trainees that if they make it over the hill before everyone else, then they have to turn around and come back up the hill.  If they want to improve their running and not just settle for what feels comfortable, then they will turn around and come back up the hill.  Yes, it is a challenge, but that’s the point.  The point is to move out of your comfort level in order to achieve what you never thought possible.

Freedom to Reach Higher

I thought I had the ultimate victory back in April when I beat my husband to the finish line of the Gate River Run. However, that race was only the beginning.  I do attempt to keep the bragging to a minimum, but I have to say that I am proud of what I accomplished today.  Let me share that story with you.

First of all, let us remember that today is Memorial Day.  Please reflect on our heroes who have made sacrifices for our freedom.  These sacrifices range from the loss of life to being apart from family while on deployment for months at a time.  Running is one thing I did today to honor those who fought for my freedom.  One man in particular, Marine Sgt. John Hayes, returned home without legs.  Not only does he have to give up something that I take for granted (running), but he has to work harder to raise his 3 kids.  Fortunately, some of the money from this race was for the benefit of his family.

I thought about those sacrifices as I stood at the starting line.  I also thought about what I could do to find the strength to work harder and not just settle for something less.  I told my family and friends that my goal was to run the 5 miles in 42 minutes.  What I did not tell them is that I had another goal in mind.  My goal was to place in the top 3 of my age division.  So, I had these goals in mind, but I did not follow all of the rules for preparation.  I spent all weekend not sleeping and eating food like hamburgers, chips and smores.  Even the night before I decided to eat greasy Chinese food and birthday cake.  What was I thinking?  Not sure, but it seemed to work for me.

For some reason, my running buddy and I decided to line up right behind the elite runners.  When these folks were introduced, I started feeling a bit nervous.  Let’s just say that words like “Kenyan” and “Olympic Trials” were used.  Even Jeff Galloway was there.  My buddy and I looked at each other and talked about how we could inch our way backwards, but it was already too late.  They announced the start and we were off!

I knew I was going too fast as I always know at the beginning of every race.  I tell myself to slow down, but I just don’t listen.  I see everyone passing me and I feel that I need to keep up.  I say over and over again that I will pass them down the road when they get tired.  I managed to slow down when I looked at my Garmin and saw that I was running a pace under 7 min/mile.  That was definitely a good idea, but I should have slowed down even more.

At around mile 1 I started passing those folks who sprinted from the start.  It was very hot and the sun was beaming down.  I desperately wanted water and shade, but neither appeared to be within sight.  We finally turned a corner at mile 2 and I was relieved to see both water and shade!  I decided to walk and drink, but when I did, I got passed.  I picked it up again and found 2 other women to play the passing game with.  It’s funny, but I think women are way more competitive with each other than men.  When I came up on them, they picked up the pace so I had to speed up just to stay behind them.  At one point I passed one of them.  However, the other one wasn’t budging.  She just looked like a serious runner and I was a bit nervous because she looked like she was within my age group.  However, when we got to an incline, I passed her!  Have I told you how much I love hills?!!

Then, at mile 3.5, I hit a “wall.”  I couldn’t believe it.  I felt like I did at mile 22 of the marathon.  I told myself that I had to keep going and I couldn’t slow down.  I know that most of running is mental, so I had to force myself to think positively so I wouldn’t fade.  I thought about how lucky I was to have both of my legs.  Then, at mile 4, I grabbed some Gatorade and I was good.  Not great, but at least good.  It was the last mile after all.  I knew I was on the home stretch.  I chose not too look behind me for fear that someone was there.  Now I wish I would have.

At around mile 4.5, I passed an older gentlemen and I managed to tell him that we were almost there.  He said something back and I continued on past him.  Then, I started feeling really tired even though I could see the finish line right in front of me.  That man I had just passed ran up beside me and told me to pick up the pace.  That was all I needed to get me motivated.  I started sprinting.   Yet, just then, that woman who I had passed on the hill, breezed right by me and crossed the finish line before I could fight back.  I came in right behind her and right next to the man who provided the push I needed.

Yes, I had made my goal of 42 minutes because my actual time was 39:11.  I couldn’t have been happier. However, I still wasn’t sure about how I placed.  I was worried, but I tried to feel thankful that I had made such good time.  We stood around for the awards ceremony.  When they announced 3rd place, I stood there waiting to hear the time.  It was a woman who ran it in 39:40.  That only meant that I did better than 3rd place!  And they did call my name next.  I had made 2nd place!  And you know who made 1st place?  That woman who crossed the finish line 2 seconds ahead of me!  Was I upset?  Sure, I was a little mad at myself, but I did make my goal of being in the top 3.  I figured that my 2 seconds behind would only be a motivation to do even better next time.  That’s the great thing about freedom… we always have the freedom to reach higher thanks to all of the military members and their families!

Never Quit

Words cannot express the feeling of sorrow I felt as I stood, braced for running, at the starting line.  The National Anthem only brought tears to my eyes and the pre-race speeches left me wondering why pain seems to always accompany joy.  Standing next to me was a friend.  A new friend, but a friend nonetheless.  A friend who had battled and survived cancer just a few years ago.  A friend who just lost his wife only weeks ago.  That kind of pain is unimaginable.  I understand what it is like to lose a loved one, but I do not understand what it is like to lose a spouse, a soulmate who knows you like no one else.

She knew that he loved to run.  I imagine that it didn’t take long to convince her to join him at the race.  That is the kind of thing we do for the ones we love.  Yet, as we stood at the starting line, she was the one missing in body…. however, she was present in spirit.  I know it took my friend a lot of strength and courage to show up to the race that day.  I deeply respect him for that because I don’t think I would have been able to do it with so much peace and love still in my heart.

We anxiously awaited the firing of the gun along with 6,000 other participants.  It was a great day to be on the beach if you were a runner… not so sure if it was a great day to be lounging in the middle of a race course. When we were given the signal to start, my friend took off with so much determination that I feared I would not be able to keep up.  We ran in silence most of the way, but every once in awhile commented on the distraught beachgoers or complained about the sweat pouring down our backs like a waterfall.  When my friend slowed down I would take the lead to maintain the motivation to keep pushing forward.  However, all of the motivation he needed was found within and above.  When I asked him how he was doing, he would simply state that he was doing good and it was more than convincing.

The finish line was fast approaching and I did not need to reflect too long on what was going through my friend’s mind.  The answer was written all over him.  He glanced up and raised his arm to the sky.  The crossing of the finish line was an emotional passage that I was honored to be a part of.  Even though she was not physically present, I knew that she was there cheering for her husband.  I have no doubt that my friend will never quit for her.  Regardless of how painful the road will be at times, he will continue moving forward.  There is still too much joy remaining.

I thought about all of the things that I often take for granted and I am thankful to my friend for opening my eyes to the world around me.  I will never quit living life no matter what challenges I may face in the future.  We all have the strength within ourselves to pick up the pieces and carry on… it is just a matter of whether or not you will try.

Road Rash

Don’t they call it “road rash” when you fall off your bike and skid along the pavement?  I guess the same description can be applied to a runner who does the same thing.  Well, they obviously don’t fall off of a bike, but they still have momentum which causes them to skid along the pavement.  All the same, “road rash” is the end result.  Maybe I can explain what it feels like because it appears that I have it on both of my palms. I guess it can really only be described as a burning sensation.  And when I look at my hands I see a bit of redness and some skin peeled back.

So, why do I have road rash on my hands?  Well, this time I wanted to make sure I didn’t get it on my knees. The words “this time” obviously implies that this is not the first time I have gotten road rash.  No.  I do still remember that last experience vividly and I can even point out the exact location where it happened (in front of the Red Cross building… ha, too funny I know).  At least I had more of an excuse last time.  You see, my running buddy and I completed a half-marathon last Thanksgiving.  However, we were scheduled to run 16 miles that week.  So the half-marathon left us 3 miles short.  Well, being that my running buddy is slightly OCD, she was not happy with only running 3 miles 2 days later.  No, she wanted to run the full 16 miles 2 days later.  Did I mention that it was 2 days later?  Needless to say, I was kind of tired by the time we were trudging along in front of that Red Cross building.  One mindless misstep and I was had.  I didn’t have time to brace the impact so my knees took the brunt of it.  Yep, it kind of hurt, but I somehow managed to carry on and finish those da!# 16 miles.

What was my excuse tonight?  I didn’t really have one.  We had just finished 2 loops of the bridges and I haven’t done that in over a month.  I was a little tired I suppose.  I did have enough energy to break my fall with my hands so my knees would not have to endure the suffering.  It actually seemed to happen in slow motion and I just remember being very pissed about the whole situation and cursing at myself as my face approached the pavement.  I didn’t cry this time.  I just laughed it off and looked around thankful that only my running buddy witnessed the act.  Funny that is was along the same road as the last time… only about a 1/2 mile down the street.

I forced myself to get up.  Then I told my running buddy that it was her fault that I ate the pavement the last time.  Whose fault was it today?  I don’t know.  She is the one who asked me to go running tonight…