The other night I really needed to go for a run.  It was just one of those days where I was desperate to escape my house.  When my husband came home from work (late as usual), I was trying to get my older kids to eat their dinner while my 7-month old was screaming at the top of her lungs.  My husband felt bad about my stressed out condition, so he asked me if I wanted to drive to a bookstore and relax (one of my all-time favorite things to do… I just love drinking coffee and skimming through books and magazines).  I told him that I just wanted to go for a run.  Even though it was already dark outside, I changed into my bright running clothes and laced up my brand-new running shoes.

As I stepped outside, I knew that my heart was set on 6 miles.  I have been so used to running with other people that the thought of running 6 miles alone almost seemed daunting.  It is just so funny because 2 years ago I often ran longer distances alone.  Yet, once I tuned into my upbeat music and elongated my strides, I was happy as a clam (are clams really even happy?).  I wanted to stay focused on keeping my speed up while working on improving my form.

I was focused on my running, but not so focused that I wasn’t aware of my surroundings.  I kept thinking about how stupid it was for me to keep both ear buds in with the music blaring.  Granted, I live in a pretty good neighborhood, but any neighborhood can seem scary at night.  The other problem is that streetlights are hit or miss around here.  Some of the sidewalk is well-lit, while other sections are pitch black.  Not only do I have to worry about not tripping over a crack in the cement, but I also have to worry about some psycho jumping out of the bushes.  As I neared the high school, I kept running past groups of teenagers that didn’t seem to care if they were hogging the entire sidewalk.  Adolescent disrespect seems to be on the rise.

Soon, I encountered the elementary school and beyond that I only saw another stretch of darkness.  Since I hadn’t hit the turnaround point yet, I decided to run laps in the well-lit school parking lot before heading back towards home.  As I went over the bridge and past a dark and scary forest, I heard a rustling in the bushes that made me jump sideways nearly falling into the road.  Mind you, at this point I had realized that it was much smarter to run with only one ear bud in so I could have some idea of the noises that existed beyond my music.  The bushes continued to rustle loudly as I ran the fastest mile out of all 6.  Then the strangest thing happened.  As I ran towards a light it flickered and then shut off.  That must have happened at least three times within 5 minutes.  So, not only do I have to worry about cracks and psychos at night, but I have to escape ghosts?!  Finally I reached some decent lighting and happily continued to work on speed.  Whatever makes you fast, right?

Needless to say, running alone at night does have its advantages.  It definitely keeps the adrenaline pumping. Additionally, I was able to work on my form without anyone being able to see how silly I must have looked.  I was even able to observe my form when my body created a shadow in the street light.  I think I figured out that I might need to lift my knees just a tad higher.  I don’t know… it might be a hopeless cause.  I was just born to run like a flailing gazelle fleeing a lion.  No, actually gazelles are more graceful, even in life-threatening situations.

So, today was the day that I attempted to run the fastest 5K I have ever ran in my life.  Actually, I haven’t really ran very many 5K’s in the past so I don’t have much to compare it to.  I did run the Woodside 5K back in 2006.  That was located in the woodsy hill area south of San Francisco.  Needless to say, I wasn’t very well prepared for that race and I also had no idea that it would be straight uphill for about a mile of it.  Regardless of the circumstances, I somehow managed to finish in 37:02 (funny how I can google that and still see that my time is posted online… otherwise there is no way I would remember that).  I’m pretty sure that was my first 5K unless my mom made me do one at some point during my childhood (a time when I dreaded running).  Let me think, 2006… my first daughter was only about 2 years old at that time.  Yep, I am pretty sure that is when I started having a slight interest in running.  After that there was no stopping me (well, except for the two pregnancies that soon followed).

Oh, back to today’s 5K.  Sorry, I was just having flashbacks.  Most of you know that short distance hasn’t really been my thing lately.  No, if I am going to run a race then I usually want it to be 13.1 or 26.2 miles.  As I recently considered my New Year’s resolutions I thought about the need for speed (in addition to the weight training and core training so I could hopefully improve my form… no luck yet, my form still sucks).  When you start working with something new, like speed, it makes sense to start from the bottom of the mileage chart again (nope, I couldn’t do that to myself on a 10-mile run).  So, the fun-loving 3-miler that seems to be the point where runners can call themselves runners if they can run 3 miles without stopping (some kind of unwritten rule).

There I go getting off topic again.  Let’s go back to this morning when I woke up and looked outside and felt a little perturbed that it was nasty gray and drizzly.  “Please don’t let this affect my time!” was all I could think. Then we got in the car and obnoxious little drops of rain pounded on our windshield.  As we drove south, the rain subsided.  I was hopeful.  When we got to the race area, I jumped out and headed to the booth to pick up my number.  This was a little race in comparison to the marathon of 17,000 people I just participated, but for some reason I was so focused on getting everything done quickly and making sure I was at the starting line well ahead of schedule.  I was basically stressing out for no reason (as my husband will tell you, that is my typical behavior at functions).  My running buddy and I get up to the start.  Then of course I start thinking about the kids in front of us and I get annoyed thinking that they are going to get in my way once this thing starts.  Gosh, I have just turned into a sour puss.  Just relax lady!

The gun goes off and I jet!  I think that maybe I am starting off too quickly, but I can’t help myself.  I want to pass these people and find an open area where I can run free.  Then I find it.  The space that no one is occupying.  I settle in and then realize that I am still flying.  I am worried, but I still don’t slow down.  I try not to think about how I might die by the time I get to mile 1.  But then I pass mile 1 and I am not dead yet.  I still have some gas and I might be able to maintain.  We round a curve to the other street and I keep wishing that the mile 2 marker was in sight.  And it wasn’t… still not there yet… nope, not there.  I am chugging along hoping that I don’t run out of fuel when I see it… mile 2!  The nice lady holding the sign tells me my time (still doing good) and mentally pushes me forward by telling me I am one of the top 10 females.  Okay, I can do this.  Then I see the walkers (it was a loop that repeated itself) and I started flying past them.  Now I have to focus on weaving in and out of traffic again.  If anyone gets in my way, oh boy, I will yell so loud that they will jump to the other side of the road.  Then I pass this Marine/Airforce/whatever looking dude. Well, that seemed to irritate him because a minute later he flew right past me.  That only made me run faster even though I wasn’t able to keep up.  Then, there it was!  The finish line!  Oh my, I was losing steam.  Just pick it up for one more 0.1 mile!  I did and I crossed that line in 24 minutes 24 seconds!  Whew, that was fast… for me.  It was my personal record.  That’s a pretty good feeling.  Just a little while later it starting pouring rain.

Don’t you worry… the running doesn’t stop at the end of one little marathon!  I have just been taking it easy over the past few weeks; getting back into the groove of running.  I found a new group to run with on Thursday nights (well, my good old running buddy is in that group… we still plan to keep each other motivated for as long as we can).  I even get to return back to my favorite bridges on those nights!  I’m lovin’ life!

Well, what’s next?  A personal record (PR) on a 5k (that’s 3.1 miles for you non-runner types).  I have to run the thing in under 27 minutes.  Why?  Well, there is this crazy race here in Jacksonville every March.  It is known as the Gate River Run.  The largest 15K in the nation.  Needless to say, everybody who calls themselves a “runner” has to participate in this race (I suppose they don’t have to, but it is like some kind of unwritten code of the running world).  Now, you can’t just sign up for this race because then you will get stuck at the back of the line (they did say it is the LARGEST 15K).  Imagine pushing past thousands of people and weaving in and out of walkers.  So, in order to get a spot near the front of the mass crowd, you have to achieve set times on certain types of races.  So, here I am, trying to make sure I’m in a good spot by doing well on my next 5K.  Just so I can run a 15K next.  Did any of that make sense to you?  It doesn’t really make sense to me, but at least it gives me goals.  I need goals in order to stay focused and keep pushing forward.

So today, my buddy and I decided to try a practice 5K in hopes of achieving our time goal.  Well, we start off flying fast down the road.  Then we realize that we are probably going too fast and we might die soon if we don’t tone it down a bit.  After the first mile (and why did it seem to take forever to reach that first mile even though we did it in 8:17?), my buddy says something about coffee, sick and puke.  We couldn’t really talk in complete sentences because of how fast we were going.  She stopped to do her business (which I assumed was to be sick in the bushes… however, I later come to find out that she didn’t actually do the deed) and told me to keep going.  I kept running, but I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to hang without someone running next to me.  The next mile took forever, but I would have to say that the third mile was the longest.  I visualized mile 22 of the marathon and thought about how awful I felt then and how I felt just as awful at mile 2.5 of this quick jaunt.  It was a different kind of awful, though, because I didn’t feel like my limbs were going to fall off… I felt like my lungs were going to explode.  Somehow I made it to 3.1 and fumbled around in my pocket to grab my phone in an effort to check my time: 25:31.  Whew!  I did it!  As I looked up, my buddy was right there!  Whew!  We both did it!

Then a nice, lovely 3-mile jog back to our cars.  Okay, it wasn’t really the greatest jog of our lives, but it was much better than the speed race we had just completed.  I think we are ready for the real thing on Saturday!  Oh man, do we really have to do that all over again?  In the beginning I thought that maybe I was made for speed.  Now I think I would rather take a slow 12-mile jog over a fast 3-mile run!

The happiest place on earth… really??  Then how come at around mile 22 I wasn’t feeling so HAPPY?  I think I could have related more to Grumpy from the seven dwarfs.  A sweet, young lady had turned into a venomous, cursing ugly woman who no one wanted to run next to.  Okay, let me rewind for a minute.  How did I get to become this monstrosity (hmm, that sounds like the description given to Stitch)?

It was a pleasant morning in the world of happiness.  Okay, that is still stretching it.  I don’t think any morning is pleasant when you have to get your butt out of bed at 2:00 a.m. especially if nerves did not allow you to fall asleep in the first place.  Even though my roommate/running buddy and I had everything laid out the night before (which could be another story pages long because there was a debate about what clothes to wear based on weather predictions… not to mention the horror of my roommate searching frantically for her ipod) before we still struggled to get out the door in time to meet our group in the lobby.  There we were, forcing ourselves to smile as they snapped several pictures of our peppy little group.  Then, on to the buses.  You don’t know how happy I was to actually have a seat and not have to stand for the short ride to the event parking lot.  I wanted to snooze on the bus ride, but that wasn’t happening.  Too much excitement (or nervousness… whatever you want to call it).  Off the bus we went and found an area to congregate around a sleeping bag a buddy bought at Goodwill just days before (ready for disposal once the race began).  Then we were guided through the bag check tents and as we came out the other side we realized that we had lost a member of our group.  Actually, we think that she intentionally tried to lose us so she could enjoy the 26.2 miles in peace (I guess I jabber more than I thought??… no, it’s not me… must be the other 2 ladies).  The Porta-Potty lines were horrendously long.  I hate these types of facilities.  I would much rather pee in the bushes… as some people did just that.  I am one of the lucky few who doesn’t seem to have to use the restroom during long runs.  I am usually the one running in place outside.  After everyone else in the group had relieved themselves, we made the 3/4 mile trek (yes, can you believe that they actually made us walk that far??!!) to the starting line.  This would have been a quick journey, except for the fact that over 14,000 people were trying to get to the same place.  It was more like herding cattle.  We were more or less doing the shuffle dance.

After the long, tiring journey we finally reached the corrals.  There we huddled together to keep warm while waiting for the race to start.  It was just slightly chilly… okay, lets just say that I was glad I had purchased a cheap pair of sweats that I could discard once the race began (yep, this is what we runners do… once the race starts, we start stripping and it is quite an amazing sight to see people dodging flying articles of clothing).  All of a sudden the fireworks went off!  Oh wait, it wasn’t our turn yet.  The fireworks went off again!  Oh, still not our turn.  I think we were able to start running once the fourth set of fireworks went off.  Some character was dancing on stage as we passed the starting line, but I can’t remember if it was Goofy or Mickey?  I guess I didn’t really care at that point.

It sure is fun to run in the dark.  Okay, maybe only when you are running through Epcot.  Stitch was there waiting for us.  Quite a few people were stopping for pictures, but our little group was too eager to get the marathon finished.  Soon, we were out of the first theme park and back out on open road.  Not the most scenic route, but I still felt a little claustrophobic weaving in and out of runners.  I was wondering if the crowd would ever disperse until I realized that most of them were in that spot because they have a pace similar to mine.

One mile at a time.  Our next motivating factor was Magic Kingdom.  I just kept thinking about how my daughter would be happy that I was running through the castle! I even stopped to take a picture and then hightailed it to catch up with my group.  Wow, it was exhilarating!  I felt pretty darn good.  Then back to open road.  At some point along this road we crossed over the half-marathon point and I remember feeling not too pleased about having to run another half-marathon.  We were keeping a decent pace, but I wasn’t sure if I would be able to keep it up.  All of a sudden, I didn’t feel like I was having a good race anymore.  My lower back started to hurt and every mile I discovered a new body part that gave me pain.  I wasn’t looking forward to the stretch of road after Animal Kingdom.  It was pretty awesome to run past the Everest ride and wind our way through a section of the park.  It was interesting how we always seemed to enter and exit through the backstage.

That stretch of road after Animal Kingdom was my worst nightmare come true.  I started to slow my pace as my running buddies decided to quicken their paces.  I was even thankful at one point when one of them had to stop to use the loo.  I continued on knowing that she would definitely be able to catch up.  And she did.  Not only did she catch up, but she passed me.  Around mile 22 I was alone.  Remember the beginning of the story?  Yes, this is where I had a personality change.  I was in the “bite me” phase. Every part of my body was screaming and I was so pissed that I couldn’t run any faster.  I was so ready to be done with this race!  I had to do everything in my power not to stop and walk.  No, that would have been a huge mistake.  I kept chugging along trying to keep one foot in front of the other.  I didn’t care about my form anymore (not, that I have a good running form anyway… so I have been told… and is evident in my pictures). So, there I was.  In the middle of my nightmare with people running past me on the left and on the right.  Then, there he was at mile 25.  My running coach.  He gave me a small pep talk and that was all I needed.  By the time I hit mile 25.5 I was somehow running like a mad woman.  Yeah, I was running fast again.  So fast that I was the one passing people on my left and right.  I was pumped and I knew I had enough energy to make it.  I kept saying “you can do it!” over and over again.. not just in my head, but out loud.  I might have mixed in a few obscenities in there, but I didn’t care what the other runners were thinking.  The aggression just turned into pure adrenaline.  I was FAST.  I was DETERMINED.  And then there it was… the FINISH line.  As I ran through the last line of spectators I pumped up my arms and just started yelling “GO TEAM!” at the top of my lungs.  As I came across the finish, I high-fived Mickey himself and happily accepted my golden Mickey medal.  That was the climax of my performance.

Then, it all just hit me like a ton of bricks.  I could barely pick up my legs.  I was in some serious pain.  My back was killing me, my legs were placid, my arms ached… it was worse than any pain I had experienced along the way.  I just felt like crying.  Crying because I had finished and crying because I was in so much pain.  So, I did.  I cried. Here’s to you dad, mom and anyone who has endured cancer.  I did it for you and I did it for me.  I DID IT!

Now, will I do it again?  Who knows… probably.  What crazy people do this to themselves over and over again?  People like me I guess…

So, this is not the end.

No pain, no gain.  That little saying does not fit my style.  Actually, I think it is the philosophy of idiots who go a little overboard when it comes to fitness.  Two days after my first marathon (just last week), I experienced some pain.  Yep, my left foot just all of a sudden decided to kick in the pain (no pun intended).  There was absolutely no warning and when I woke up on that particular morning I felt back to normal.  My muscles appeared to be functioning properly again and I was ready to hit the pavement running.  Then that dang foot acted up.  It decided it didn’t want me to feel good anymore.  I tried to “show it” and go for a light jog.  That jog turned into a limp jog and then into a staggered walk.  Boy, was I irritated!  How could this happen right before my event?  Okay, Heidi, just breathe.  The pain will go away soon.  The next day I hopped on the treadmill and didn’t make 3 miles before I had to stop because the pain became too much.  I remembered an article that talked about pain that you could work through and pain that you should rest for.  Well, I couldn’t find that article so I had no idea what I should do.  Did I really need someone else telling me what I should do?  Yes, it appeared that I did so I e-mailed my running coach.

I already knew what she was going to say.  She gave me the advice that I didn’t want to hear.  She told me to RICE it.  For you non-athlete types, RICE stands for Rest, Ice, Compression and Elevation.  Then she had to tell me to refrain from activity until the following week.  Are you kidding me?  So, there I was attempting to just go for a walk.  The pain was still there.  Then I started actually thinking like an intelligent person.  Why are you walking on it if it hurts?  Are you an idiot?  Do you want to stay home and miss the marathon because of your ego?  No.  Absolutely not.  Let me tell you, I had a relaxing Christmas Eve and Day.  I didn’t even do any cleaning because I figured that would count as “activity.”

So, come Sunday, I was feeling fine.  My foot was pretty much back to normal and I was ready to hit the pavement running with my buddies.  So, we met at 7:00 am (yes, we actually got to sleep in).  Well, when we stepped out of our cars we were sideswiped by the blistering winds.  The wind chill was below freezing and we looked at each other like we were crazy to even consider running in that weather.  We almost made the decision to go home, but then our egos kicked in (it appears that the ego sometimes causes problems) and we said that we had to run even if it wasn’t the full 12 miles.  So I suggested the route that would somewhat shelter us from the 16 mph winds and we were off.  Did we warm up?  Not really.  It took us about 3 miles before we came to our senses.  We were risking catching pneumonia 2 weeks before the marathon.  Therefore, we made the smart choice to turn around and managed to get 6 miles completed for the day without checking into the hospital.

Now tonight was all ours.  The temperature was perfect and we were all feeling great.  I thought about how awful those last 6 miles of our first marathon were and I decided to push it hard.  No pain, no gain?  Not quite.  I just worked harder than usual and had to breathe a little more and pump my legs a little faster.  There was no pain involved. Just a bit of intrinsic motivation to keep me going.  Seriously folks, you just have to listen to your body and it will tell you what you should and shouldn’t do.